Quotes from 1st grade

You may know that I have been subbing long term in 1st grade and have been saving up some winning quotes for you all. I am SURE you will enjoy. (Names are changed to protect the (less than) innocent.)

Me: Haley, you like to tell people what to do an awful lot. I sure hope you're going to be a teacher.

Haley: I am. Well, actually my husband's going to work, I'll stay home.

Chelsea: I am feeling like a burrito is in my brain. (No, I do not know what that means.)

Johnny: I don't really want to subtract.

Me: There's a lot of things I don't want to do. But we have to do them anyway.

Johnny: No we don't. Just tell us not to. You're the teacher. You can tell the President what to do.

Mandy: I am so excited my Mommy is coming on the field trip!

Me: I am too!

Mandy: No, my mom is coming... You can't bring yours too...

Jenny: I pledge allegiance, to the flag, of the United States of America. And to the retublic, of which it lands, one nation, under God, unbelievable, with liderby and Justine for all. (And no, Jenny will not be going to say the pledge on the morning news tomorrow.)

Me: Kyle, what time does the clock say?

Kyle: I don't know. I can only tell time on the Successmaker clocks.

Me: They are the same as real clocks.

Kyle: No. Successmaker clocks have a minute hand.

Me: So do.. Never mind.

Carlos: Ms. J, I don't know where my pencil is.

Me: I don't either. Why didn't you put it in your desk?

Carlos: Because it's messy! I can never find anything in there!

Haley: Are we making more mother's day crafts?

Me: Not today.

Haley: Good. That lady really got a lot today.

(While we are watching Cara the Sea Turtle)

Heather: Wait- the mom turtle doesn't get to see the baby turtles?

Me: Just watch the movie.

Evan: Maybe she comes back when they hatch.

Me: Keep watching, they'll tell you.

Heather: I don't know who this "intuition" lady is, but she's talking an awful lot.

Evan: The mom never gets to see them?!

Johnny: Why doesn't Melissa talk to me?

Me: Maybe she doesn't like you.

Johnny: Ms. J, that's silly. She likes me.

Me: She does?

Johnny: Does she?

Me: I don't know. She doesn't talk to you...

Johnny: She likes me. Everyone likes me. And she doesn't talk to Alex either and he's the nicest boy here.

Me: Maybe she doesn't like him either.

Johnny: Now you're being ridiculous.

Me: Evan, we need to do your sight words today.

Evan: cat, bat, sat. It's the same every week. I'm surprised I don't know them by now.

Heather: Only one Monday left of school!

Me: No.. there's 5. But you don't have to go to school on one of them.

Heather: What?

Me: It's true, sorry.

Heather: I'm not coming on Mondays anymore. We need longer weekends.

Me: Don't let me forget to do prizes for group points tomorrow.

Molly: The same group wins every time.

Me: Maybe your group should stop talking so much.

Molly: We have a lot to say...

There, in a nutshell, is what I am dealing with every day. Pretty great stuff!

Subtraction with Regrouping is NOT for the Faint of Heart

Especially if you are teaching first grade.

Recently I started 6 weeks with some pretty great first graders, and it has been a pretty seamless transition. The kids have been great, planning has been easy and they really seemed to be learning.

Until Thursday.

I knew it would be difficult. I knew it would take a little more than it had before. I even knew there would be kids that didn't understand.

But... I never could have imagined this.

The first example went really well. They were really impressed by what I had done and how easy it seemed. Subtraction with regrouping? Ha! No problem, we've got that!

The second example was when I started asking questions, hoping that with some prompting they'd be able to fill in the blanks. Cue the chirping crickets.

So, we did another... and another... and another.

And again, and again, and again.

I wanted to beat my head against the cement wall.

The things that were said to me were mind boggling. Despite what I thought, I have no idea how the brain of a 7 year old works.

If I have 1 cube, can I give 8 away?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. (You think at some point they would get that I was trying to find a different answer and someone would say no.)

So I tried something else. If I have 1 piece of pizza, can I give pizza to 8 of you?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

No, I can't.

Why Ms. J? Why won't you share?

Clearly that strategy wasn't working.

So I tried showing it with cubes, with crayons, with fingers, with human examples. While I think the muddy waters slowly began to transcend to murky, I still didn't have much hope that they understood.

So I went to telling them. We have to regroup. "We do?" Yes, we do. Because I said so, we have to regroup.

When we regroup we borrow from our tens. If I'm in my ones and I need to borrow, where do I borrow from?

The ones. The ones. Blue cubes (No, she did not have blue cubes in the tens, they were in the ones.) The ones. The ones. Add the ones (What? Where did that come from? Who is whispering lies in your ears? Help! Please! Someone save me!) The ones. The ones. The tens.

Yes! Hooray! Victory! Hallelujah! We borrow from our tens.

If I have 5 tens, and I need to take one how many are left?

One. Six. Three. Ten. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! (<-----That one was me.)

Four. We have four left.

It didn't matter whether I showed them with numbers on the board, whether I demonstrated it with cubes on a work mat. Whether I prompted or whether I stood on my head. At the end of an excruciating 50 minutes I had 3 students who could successfully subtract with regrouping (with or without the help of cubes) and 11 who thought I was punking them. It was a big, fat teaching failure. We've all had them before and we'll all have them again. But that doesn't mean it was any easier to stomach. I still felt beaten down, exhausted, and like I needed a drink.

Luckily, all 5 of my first grade team members were experiencing similar fates, so I knew it wasn't just me.

So I am taking the weekend to regroup (ha ha) and hopefully on Monday I will feel refreshed and revitalized and be ready to dive back in to the depths of regrouping.

It can't be any worse than it was, right? Right? No, seriously- It can't get worse? Can it? Please... someone... anyone...