How to Deal

I have been struggling for over a week trying to decide the best way to word, phrase, and approach this blog post.

You never know who is going to see what you're posting and of course I do not want to upset or offend anyone. Not that I would ever name names, etc., but it's still a slippery slope. So, let's hope that I can write this with grace and tact and not in a manner that will hurt anyone.

Recently I received an email from a substitute teaching trainer asking me what I do to battle apathy in the classroom. I gave it a lot of thought before emailing her back and telling her I had not been in a classroom with students who were apathetic to me and what I was doing. But it got me thinking about all of the classrooms I have worked in and made me realize that while I have not been somewhere where I was confronted with apathy, I have been in a room there was little to know class room management present.

Those days have, by far, been my biggest challenges.

What I can tell you for sure is that it is easier if you are expecting a struggle when you walk in the door. I have had days where I had no idea what I was walking into and I have had days of being forewarned, where I have been told about the lack of management and procedures in the room.

When you know there is no real management system in place you have to make the choice: fight a battle to whip them in shape for just one day-- or just keep your head above water in the chaos that is the norm for that room. After all, everything will just go back to the way it was when you leave anyway..

My choice is always to fight the battle. I'm not going to lie, sometimes you lose. Usually you lose. The students are not going to suddenly snap into a perfectly pleasant, on task, quiet bunch. They will however see that you mean business and generally they just want to make it through the day as well. It's difficult, they tell you you're mean, and sometimes they make you want to cry. But it hones your skills and keeps you from getting taken advantage of.

So fight the battle, lick your wounds and come back for more the next day.

Even the tough days have bright spots and they ALWAYS have an end!

Forever Young

Today I began the day with the "big kids." I tend to lean toward the intimidated side when I am working with 4th or 5th grade because of how comfortable I am in the primary grades, and this morning with 5th grade was no different. Throughout the course of the morning though, I came to see that really, these 5th graders were no different than the 1st and 2nd graders am used to working with. In a refreshing change of pace, I was reminded just how young these "big kids" really are.

When a 10 year old boy shows you the dragons he drew, just because he's excited, not because he's looking for praise (which he obviously got anyway).

When an 11 year old girl gets excited because her purple pen actually writes purple!

When a 10 year old boy skips to the office because the wind is blowing and the birds are chirping, and skipping just makes sense.

When an 11 year old boy tells you all about the lego creations he made last night.

When a 10 year old girl still reads her Junie B. books- "They're kind of below my level, but Junie B. is so funny!"

When they get excited for kindergarten book buddies because they get to look at picture books, instead of "boring" chapter books.

When they giggle as they draw their pajamas for an adjective assignment.

When an 11 year old girl hugs you just for being you.

It's nice that these big kids have been able to maintain such a playfulness and excitement for the little things in life. Because as you and I know, being a big kid isn't always all that great. Sometimes I want to play with legos, read Junie B., draw a picture, and write with purple pen, and it was a delightful change to see these 5th graders not only as top of the heap, kings and queens of the school, but also as children with light in their eyes and love and their hearts and an eagerness to just have fun.

Self Fulfilling Prophecies

My 1/2 day in kindergarten began with a particularly mischievous looking blonde walking up to me holding the fortune from last night's cookie, asking me to read it to her. The fortune was this:

"Watch out for little problems that could get a lot bigger."

As I looked down at her smiling face I instantly knew that she was going to be my very own little problem for the afternoon.

Thanks for the warning, Confucius...

But, I am unsure if she was just particularly trying because I thought she was going to be, or if that is just a part of her personality. The most difficult thing about this job is trying to make sure that a child or class does not become what someone has told you they might. If I walk in to a room with the lingering thought that I am going to be spending the day with a bunch of hellions, chances are they will morph into what I am expecting them to be.

So, my little angel this afternoon- truly a problem child or a self fulfilling prophecy?

Some time after the glue was covering the table, the snack was on the floor, and the marker was up her nose but before she broke the tape player, ripped the book pages, and knocked over the center bucket, I decided that she really was a problem child.

My biggest issue came when she and two other students needed to walk themselves to the classroom where they get their reading tutoring. The directions I was given stated that I was to send the three children to the classroom, and that they would walk themselves there and back.

Which is not what happened.

They made a pit stop in the parking lot where the third graders were visiting the ice cream truck, and they tried to go to see my little friend's brother in first grade.

Not great.

When they were returned to me by a very upset volunteer, I was faced with the problem of what I should do. Of course I knew the regular classroom procedures involving discipline but, in my opinion, this transgression was worthy of a punishment slightly greater than what they would receive if they were talking out of turn. But is it my place to administer such a consequence? I didn't want to let the instance go by without addressing it, but I also didn't want to overstep my bounds with the classroom teacher.

So I compromised.

Rather than flipping their cards from green to yellow, I sent them straight to red. (This elicited tears from my other two offenders who both swore that they were merely followers in the whole troublesome incident, but fair's fair, and they were more than capable of making the right choices for themselves.) I then sat them down and reminded them that their tutoring help was a privilege, and they had to show they were trustworthy enough in order to keep their privilege.

I also had a talk with the teacher (who was still on campus while I was filling in for her) and let her know what I did so that when she was handling the children tomorrow she would know what I had done and what the next step should be.

It's a fine line, trying to determine how you should handle your one "problem child" in a classroom, especially when they repeatedly break the rules and your standard options have run out.

But after all that, my little friend was still the first one to run up and give me a hug at the end of the day :)

Kindergarten

Has anyone ever spent any length of time in a kindergarten classroom? Because I have. And it can be... an experience. To say the least. But-- it can also be really surprising.

My experience in kindergarten has led me to one conclusion. The whole world should be as we are when we are in kindergarten. The students come to school everyday ready and willing to learn, not as something they are forced to do by mom and dad.

The students genuinely miss one another when someone is absent. Throughout the morning I hear whispers of saving extra pieces and making sure there are enough supplies for the missing child to complete the activity tomorrow. When an absent student returns, they are greeted by the whole class with hugs and high fives. In the world of kindergarten there is no segregation between girls and boys, and the world of cooties has not yet been thought of. Students are welcomed back by all of their classmates with gusto I have never witnessed in the classroom. Kindergarteners are still very full of energy and, believe it or not, they (usually, with a little guidance) expend it in appropriate manners.

Kindergarteners have not lost their desire to help one another. If one child has excelled at a task and completed it quickly, they are willing to help a classmate who is struggling. They don’t need to be asked, and if you are in need of assistance, you need not look far to find a friend who is ready to help.

Kindergarteners are not so caught up in themselves that they are worried about making mistakes. They are not self conscious when they are speaking to one another or to the teacher, because they know they will not be judged by their classmates. The flip side of not being caught up in yourself is that you are not worried about the mistakes other people make. In kindergarten everyone is free to be themselves, with no strings attached.

Now imagine applying these same thoughts and actions to the people you see everyday at the bank, or the post office, or the grocery store. If everyone viewed their job as a new challenge, looked out for others without an ulterior motive, and spent a little less time judging others imagine the world we could live in.

My kindergarten experience has truly taught me that everything we need to know in life comes inherently to us in kindergarten. What we really need to learn is how not to lose it.

Tough Love

I have found being a substitute teaching to be a very rewarding experience. I get to use my degree, work with kids, and have a lot of fun! But... it's not always fun, and it's not always rewarding. Sometimes you want to punt a kid into the next room before curling up into a corner, crying.

That being said, I thought that I would take the time to chronicle my experiences here. Because sometimes, even as a substitute, you just need to share the wit, wisdom, wretchedness you experienced throughout the day.

Today I got a lesson in tough love.

When I began my day in second grade I was excited. At 7 and 8 kids are still cute, eager to please and fairly well behaved.

Plus, how could anything go wrong when this is your Question of the Day?

But I found my morning to be a little trying.

I was fortunate enough to "team teach" reading today, which translated into me grading papers while my wonderful team member taught. Things, however, began to get a little sticky when it came time for centers. "Silent" means something different to me than it does to your average, everyday second grader. I did my best to put the offenders in my zone of proximity, but that did little to encourage quiet, efficient working. (Which is what my team member informed me was the expectation for this class.) Then you have to start moving the clips, and giving the stare and raising your voice.

Here's the thing to know about me as a substitute: Really and truly, I don't actually mind a little bit of chatter. BUT (there's always a but in life, isn't there, friends?), you have to be getting your work done. Here's the other thing to know about me as a substitute: If you've made the mistake of being off task, I tend to come down harder on you than I would if I were in my own classroom.

As a substitute the first and foremost, very, very most important thing you have to do is gain and maintain control of the class. I find that, much like a classroom teacher in the first two weeks of school, you have to go in, guns blazing, game face on, no room for error. If you mean business, they mean business and then everyone usually gets along fine. Usually.

Today was an exception to the rule. I spent the majority of my day reminding, prodding, nagging, and begging my new friends to stay quiet and follow directions.

Finally, after a particularly exhausting 15 minute walk back from the cafeteria I decided that a heart-to-heart was in order.

After we spent a few minutes talking about how we had been spending the day when a particularly astute little muffin raised her hand and simply said "Sometimes you just have to show us tough love." As a smile filled my face and heart I saw heads nodding in agreement from around the classroom.

Was the day perfect after that? Of course not. Was it better? Absolutely.

Sometimes, we all need a little tough love. And sometimes, we just need to know that's what we are being given in order to stop needing it so much.